So much going on in my head. So much that I can't seem to get a good grasp on much of anything. Is this what happens when you, three months later, still love your ex and have twisted dellusions of getting back together in living ever after in Happy Magic Land (& totally doubt the existence of said H.M.L.)? When you're still caught in this fierce whirlwind attraction to someone who is nearly impossible to read; someone you've never had more than the briefest of miscalculated/incidental touches and there was that one time it was just a touch more and I swear my heart hit the ceiling; someone who, in all likelihood, is not of your sexual persuasion? And when you're, again, talking/dabbling with an ex from years ago- the one that made your soul bleed, the one that ruined your trust in women, the one that you always wanted because you knew you couldn't have her?
This is also what happens when you go see Chris Pureka in concert for the third time and subsequently cannot stop listening to her music. I love her, it's true, but when I'm in this frame of mind, 90% of her songs make me choke on my own exhales.
Mostly, I can't stop listening to "Silo Song."
Mostly, I'd simply like to grab hold of my life and gain A) perspective, B) clarity, and C) hope. Oh, and I'd really like to hear from the Conference people. I'm not asking for much, life.
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